Lost In the Music
by NotYourAverageAngel138
Summary: He the popular player jerk. She's the best friend in the background who's hopelessly in love with him. But Bella's hiding something. Something that can get her killed. When Edward goes to far, Bella packs up and leaves. But she leaves something behind...
1. Forever And Always

_Hey Everyone! I am SO SORRY! Reasons Why I haven't Updated:_

_1. School and Homework....They REALLY Suck!_

_2. Practice.....I do Basketball, Horse-Back Riding, Art, Voice, and Guitar. Fun, Right?_

_3. I'm just a lazy ass. Sorry._

_Well at least I have my awesome reviewers and readers! :D So review and it better be a good one or I'll kick your ass because I'm already pissed off....With that wonderful thought, Read On!!!!_

**_Song-Forever and Always-Taylor Swift_**

_**Disclaimer**: Ange is having a bad day :( _

_So she asks Stephanie Meyer for Twilight! :D_

_Stephanie says "Of course, here you go. Feel better.", and moves forward to give Ange the documents for Twilight. XD_

_Ange is happy now! :)_

_Stephanie then says "In your dreams! Twilight is mine! Twilight is mine!" and runs away with Twilight. :o_

_Ange is still sad. :'(_

**Here is the Full Summary:**

_He's the popular, player jerk. She's the best friend in the background, who's hopelessly in love with him. He's the most popular guy at school, is dating the cheer leading captain, and has a loving family. She's an outcast among girls, only has guys as friends, and is fighting to survive in her own home. He loves football. She escapes in skateboarding and singing. He loves his life. She hates hers. When Edward does something unforgivable and goes to far, Bella packs up, grabs her skateboard, and leaves for that final cross country trip to Julliard. The only thing she leaves behind is a harmless-seeming book. But this book shows the REAL life of Isabella Marie Swan. This book was addressed to a certain arrogant, gorgeous, heartbreaking jerk..._

_It's all human people!_

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Bella POV Ch. 1 Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

I sighed, as my hair whipped around my face and I flipped through the air on my board. It wasn't a sad or angry sigh, it was just a content sigh. Because at this moment everything was perfect. And I wish for once it would stay that way.

Whenever something was too good to be true, it usually was. Well, for me. Depressing, harsh, whatever you want to say about it but it's the truth. But for the moment I would enjoy this as much as I could.

I flipped and twisted through the park and skidded down rails. Old ladies shot me glares for "disrupting the peace" and everyone got out of my way, acting like I wasn't there, but you could see them watching me out of the corners of their eyes and whispering to their peers about me.

Well, what did you expect when you live in a town as small as Forks, Washington and was the chief of police's daughter? Who instead of being the perfect, humble, beautiful, all-American child that everyone envisioned but instead got the trouble-making, no-good, plain rebel-of-a-girl that broke all their rules, and pushed every boundary, that flew by in front of them today?

I flew by tree after tree, building after building, and face after face until they all just kinda blurred together. As I heard the everyday life of people around me, I couldn't help but fervently wish to be like them. To be "normal" for a day, just to see what is was like and what it feels like. I jumped off my board, my worn-out, torn black converse thumping on the wet sidewalk as I stumbled. Going from freedom and peace to caged and pain in seconds.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts, that I hadn't even noticed that I was at my destination until I ran into it. Literally. I rammed into the front door, tripping on the "Welcome" mat, and flying through the unlocked door. Landing face-first in front of the boy I have been in love with my whole life.

I relished in his deep, velvety chuckle as I scrambled to pull myself up from the floor, my cheeks burning. When I felt his muscled arms wrap around me, my cheeks blazed more, if that's even possible. I inwardly sighed as he released me as soon as possible, but not before giving me a brotherly pat on the back. That's all he thought of me of. As a one-of-the-boys, or his blushing, tomboy best friend.

I looked up at his gorgeous face and couldn't help but imagine if he was mine. That I would be able to run my fingers through his bronze, just-got-out-of-bed hair and see if it really is as silky as it looked, as he ran his long fingers through my limp, plain brown hair . That he would whisper sweet-nothings in my ear and hold my callused, pale hand in his muscled, large one. To be able to stare into his emerald green eyes for hours with my muddy brown ones. To be able to kiss his full, plump lips with my chapped, cracked lips....

As he slumped on the coach, I memorized each line of his face into memory. The strong line of his jaw to his perfect full lips, pulled back into the crooked smile I loved. From the slope of his nose to his coppery eyebrows, that scrunched together when he was confused, angry or focused. To the laugh lines around his beautiful emerald eyes, that you got caught up in, to the small scar on his prominent cheekbones from when he fell out of the tree in his backyard in the 2nd grade. He was the angel, while I was the adoring follower.

I winced as _his _voice sneered in my head _"You're no one. Why would he want you? You're worthless, no one cares about you. No one wants you, get over it. Drag your sorry-ass home and cry about it and write in that dairy of yours, you bitch." _I shook my head and thought "_You can't control me here. I'M the one in control for now."_

"So, do you want a drink or something?" Edward's voice drifted from the kitchen. I hadn't even noticed he had gotten up.

"No, I'm fine." I called back. I knew if I ate anything it would be gone by the end of the day.

"You know, if you don't eat something Esme will get worried. She already doesn't think you eat enough, as it is. She'll be pissed if she finds out you keep rejecting her food." He chucked, momentarily stunning me. His voice was to musical and velvety for his own good. He made girls trip over themselves with the first word out of his mouth. Well if they hadn't already come running when they see his looks, the boy was just to damn irresistible.

I fumed when I heard that. I love Esme of course, she's practically my mother. After my Mom passed away and _he _was going through a hard time, she adopted me as her daughter for the time being. She never really let me go. She always worried about me and invited me to dinners, family activities, and tried to pull me in with her family. She had a motherly air around her, and was absolutely stunning. Esme was everything I wanted and wished for but could really be a pain when trying to keep her safe.

Because if I really told her what was happening, she would be in danger. And I would never let someone as gentle and loving as Esme know what was really happening behind closed doors.

"Edward, please don't tell Esme. I'm just not hungry. There's nothing wrong with that." I pleaded with him.

"God, Bella. Calm down. I was just kidding. Don't freak out." Edward laughed.

The thing about Edward, he's a gentleman, funny, handsome, and a....asshole. A MAJOR asshole.

Well what would you expect when you're _The Edward Cullen_. Captain of the football team, rich parents, the looks, and the school player, and only a sophomore. Who always goes back to the school slut and captain of the cheer leading squad, Lauren. God, just her name makes me want to puke.

She's the girl that wears the skirts and shorts so short that they look like underwear and the T-shirts that are so small that they practically aren't even there. She's been with every guy from nerds to goths and from the emos to jocks. Lauren has a curvy body, bleach blond hair, and shallow, light blue eyes. She also the Queen Bee and a bitch.

She enjoys torturing me, immensely. She corners me in hallways, after school, before school, when ever. Lauren makes fun of my clothes, my looks, and my social life. And my social life, well let's just say that does not exist at ALL. But what hurts the most, Edward stands there and laughs with them. He also gives comments to me, too. Then, Lauren and him make out, right in front of me. But after that, of course when no one else is around, he apologizes and begs me to forgive him. Which I do, every...single...time.

_Ugh! I really need to stop whining to myself....It's weird...._ I thought to myself. I glanced down at the battered, old watch on my wrist,that had belonged to my mother, and I almost passed out. It was 6 freakin' 55. I had to get home, right now. "Gotta go, Edward!" I yelled as I run out the front door, leaving a confused Edward in the kitchen with the funniest expression on his face.

I jumped off the steps, landing on my board in the process. I pushed myself as hard as I could, glancing occasionally at my watch, with a sense of dread in my stomach. Suddenly _his _voice ran through my head "_Bitch, I expect you to be home at 7 o'clock sharp everyday, with a fresh dinner cooked and ready." Suddenly he chuckled "And trust me, you don't want to know what will happen if your late."_

I had lost track of time, and now I would pay for it. Everyday, I make dinner and stick it in the fridge to heat up when _he _arrives. But I was late, and I didn't know what would happen. I ran to the door, and pulled out the key with trembling hands. I looked down and saw 7:02 taunting me. I slowly opened the door to find........an empty, silent hallway.

**Warning: Graphic Abuse**

I ran inside and closed the door, I leaned back against it and blew my hair out of my face in a sigh. A crash came from the kitchen and I stiffened. "Where the hell have you been?" _He _slurred, clutching a beer bottle in one hand and his other clenched into a fist.

"I....I was at...at the Cullen's, wor...working on a project." I stammered out, my face and eyes directed to the floor. _He _stormed over in front of me and grabbed my face in his big, meaty hand and pulled me forward until I could smell the alcohol on his breath and see the glazed look in his eyes, barely covering the pure hate under it. " DON"T LIE TO ME!", _he _screamed as _he_ threw me to the ground, my body ramming into the front door, the knob jabbing into my back.

"You're a slut. I know you were hanging out with a teenage boy. How many people are you fucking?" _He_ yelled. "No one.", I whispered.

"Excuse me? DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? I TOLD YOU I AM ALWAYS RIGHT, AND YOU ARE WRONG, YOU WORTHLESS BITCH!" _He _bellowed in my face, as he punched every part of me he could reach. _He_ brought his fist back and rammed it repeatedly into my stomach, as I bit my lip trying to control my screams and whimpers. _He_ slapped my face and my head flew backwards as I coughed up blood on the once clean floor.

_He_ kicked me in the stomach with his steel-toed boots and I couldn't hold back my whimpers. "YOU....KILLED...YOUR...OWN....MOTHER....YOU...WHORE!" _He_ roared at me, emphasizing each word with a ruthless kick.

_He_ chucked the beer bottle at me and I screamed as the glass pierced my skin. _He_ laughed, clearly enjoying my pain, with a crazed look in his eyes. "Clean this mess up.", Charlie demanded as he stumbled out of the room.

**Abuse Over**

I dragged myself up, as I scrambled into the kitchen and grabbed all the supplies I would need. I absentmindedly cleaned as I thought over my life, wincing as soap got into my wounds or I moved wrong.

I was in love with my best friend, who was a player and totally oblivious. I was a freak and was the one everyone ignored or laughed at. I was tortured at school by people who once were my friends and by said best friend's current girlfriend. My mom died when I was nine and the man who once was my father blamed me, so he beat me. And everyone was unaware about what was happening.

Welcome to my personal Hell.

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_Yeah, Chapter One is here!!!!! Key of getting me to update.....REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!_

_(P.S. Happy late Turkey Day!)_

_Peace out,_

_~-Ange-~_


	2. Here We Go Again

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Hey Everyone! I am in an airport right now. So if you see a girl on a lap-top with brown hair and brown eyes and pale skin, wave! Not really! Really, don't! It could be like a really freaky, weird person or a STALKER!!!!! Sorry, I had to say that. I'm really bored and don't have a flight for another 1 hour and 40 minutes and I'm REALLY bored. So I'm all alone at the airport with my Mom (She says "Hi, people of Fan fiction!"....She's weird....but she's my Mom, gotta love her!) and she's talking to a random stranger about stuff (Told you she was weird.) So on with the story!

_Disclaimer: Ange is at the airport! :D_

_Guess who she runs into.... O MY GOD, IT'S STEPHENIE MEYER!!!! :O_

_Ange asks "Can I have Twilight?" =)_

_Stephenie says "No!" =(_

_Ange then asks "What about Edward, or Jacob, or Jasper, or Emmett, or Carlisle,or the Pack or ALL OF THEM!?!?!" 0.o_

_Stephenie then says "NO, KEEP DREAMING KID, THEY'RE ALL MINE!!!!" and walks away. :'(_

_Ange says "But...But..BUT!" and then chases after Stephenie._

_After being attacked by Stephenie bodyguards and being hand-cuffed by her feet to a chair, Ange waits for her plane while writing to her awesome readers! XD_

_**Bella is fifteen here!!!! BUT she's turning sixteen in a week!!!!**_

**Song-Here We Go Again-Demi Lovato**

_LET THE CHAPTER COMMENCE!_

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Ch. 2

Bella POV

I stared at the rain dripping down the attic window,(**A/N Bella's room is in the attic!**) willing myself to get back to sleep. I crawled into bed and glanced down at my watch and saw 5:45 looking up at me. 30 minutes ago, I had to haul myself out of bed, make Charlie his breakfast, and cease to exist till he left.

Charlie watched me the entire time, waiting for me to slip up. I had poured his water with shaking hands when the silence was broken by a phone ringing. I sloshed the water down the side of the glass, having jumped at the sound of the phone. He slowly stood up and walked towards me, an evil smirk working it's way onto his face, the phone now forgotten. After slamming my head on the table, kicking me repeatedly in the shins and stomach, he walked away satisfied, leaving me to clean the mess up.

I crept down the stairs and walked into the bathroom and started rummaging through the cabinets.I shook off my clothes and when I looked up at the mirror, I cringed. Giant bruise shaped hand prints scattered themselves along my face and shoulders. Pieces of glass were still embedded in my skin and I had a gash from my right temple that curved down to my cheekbone. Random bruises covered my stomach and a massive bruise covered the middle of my back. I sighed and pulled out the bandages and antidesinfectant spray. God forbid that I get sick from infection, Charlie would lose his favorite little punching bag. I grabbed the cover up and gently dabbed it onto my face and any visible bruise. I limped into the attic pulling out a plain black, baggy sweatshirt and baggy blue jeans. I carefully slipped on my clothes and bent down and slipped my hand under my bed, feeling for the loose board.

When my hand slipped on the board, I curled my fingers around the end of the board and yanked up. I pushed away the old photos, the cash I've earned from working at the local diner, until I felt...._Ah! There it is._

I stared down at the blue velvet cover of my journal and traced my fingers along the curved gold letters. B E L L A. I flipped through all the pages and stared down at the date today.

September 10, 2007

God so much as changed since I first got this journal.

**~!~ FLASHBACK~!~ (For the Flashback, it's in 3rd Person POV)**

_A little girl around the age of eight, laughs as she clutches her parents hands. You see she constantly smooths down her new blue dress and plays with the necklace her mother gave her. Her parents watch her lovingly, holding hands as the girl runs around, her brown curls bouncing from her pigtails, almost bursting out. She beams up at her parents showing one missing front tooth and her eyes shine with childish innocence. _

_"Mommy! Daddy!", she cries, "I'm a big girl now. Can I go play on the monkey bars? By myself?". She gets down on her knees and clasps her hands together and pouts._

_"Bella, are you sure?", her mother asks her face showing concern._

_"Yes Mommy! I'm eight now! Remember?", says Bella, her little face shining brightly. Her father chuckles and nods his head, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. _

_"Daddy! Put me down!",Bella shrieks. Her father sets her down, where the little girl crosses her arms and scowls._

_"Honey,cheer up. I got just the thing to do it too!", her mother exclaims, pulling a wrapped object from behind her back. The girl squeals and jumps up for the gift. _

_She opens it up and gasps. She runs her fingers along the velvet cover and the curled gold letters. "B..E..L..L..A. Mommy it's so pretty!", the little girl exclaims, running into her mother's waiting arms, her face happy and alive._

**~!~ END OF FLASHBACK ~!~**

I sighed as I looked down at the book and traced the letters once again. I opened the book and wrote...

_Dear Journal, (I once again refuse to call you a Diary...It's too girlie.)_

_Things haven't changed. I'm still the laughing stock and outcast of the school. I'm still Charlie's punching bag. And I'm still in love with Edward Cullen, my gorgeous, irresistible player of a best friend._

_I went to Edward's yesterday and I can't help but still set myself up for heartbreak each time I see him. But what do you expect when you fall in love with your best friend, and he's everything you can never have?_

_I have to leave for school but I'll write to you later. _

_Bella_

I closed my journal and stuck it back under the board. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my back pack. Sighing, I flipped up my hood and grabbed my board, running out the door before the rain got worse.

**~!~ AT THE HIGH SCHOOL ~!~**

I boarded in front of the school buildings, shaking off rain. I looked up just in time to see Edward's Volvo pull in. I smiled when he stepped out, looking like a God among mortals, but lost my smile when I saw who he walked around to open the passenger door for. Come on let's guess. What? No one? Out stepped my arch-enemy, in the most revealing clothes you can wear in September....._Lauren._

She smirked, flipping her bleached hair over her shoulder, clutching onto Edward's arm like a flea on a dog. Wait, fleas don't deserve to be insulted like that. She swept her heavily made up eyes across the parking lot before she ended on me. Her blood red lipsticked covered lips turned into a evil smirk before they attacked Edward's lips.

I turned away as he slipped his arms around her and pulled her closer. I felt the prickling feeling in the back of my eyes, as I wished that was _me_. I went to my locker , grabbed my books, threw my board in, and slammed it shut. I was shaking and trying to hide my face and the gash that you could still see. Every movement hurt but no one noticed. They never did.

I blended in with the walls on my way to class. No one ever saw. No one ever cared. Nothing ever changed. It was always the same....

* * *

As the bell rang, indicating the end of school, I grabbed my books and rushed to my locker. Getting my stuff as fast as I could, I chanted in my head "_Don't notice me. Don't notice me. Don't notice....Damn it!"_

Lauren's nasally voice rang out, "Freak, where do you think you're going?" as her hand landed on my shoulder, nails digging into my skin. I looked down as I turned around, knowing better than to talk back.

"Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!" she demanded. She reached out and grasped my chin in her hands, pushing my hood back,and making me stare right at her.

"O, what happened? Are you okay?" her voice held fake concern, as her eyes glinted with humor. Her cronies laughed as I looked at her normal gang.

Mike Newton, football player and known boy toy of Lauren and Jessica,

Tyler Crowley, basketball player and boy toy of every girl in school,

Jessica Stanley, wanna-bee slut, bitch, and follower of Lauren,

And Edward, with his arm slung over Lauren's shoulder, his head thrown back in rich, velvety laughter. Edward was best described in five word. Gorgeous. Popular. Jerk. Player. _Perfect._

But let's not forget the lovely Lauren Mallory herself, slut of the school, the Queen Bee, and a major bitch.

"Answer me, you whore!" she screeched her voice hurting my ears. I kept my eyes down and didn't talk.

"Well at least the cut distracts us from that thing you call a face." Edward chuckled, his beautiful eyes holding a hard glint. Lauren and her group laughed as I tried to hold back the tears. '_Don't give them the satisfaction."_ I repeated to myself, keeping my face blank.

"Come on babe. I need to go but I'll see you later?" Lauren practically purred to Edward, trailing her hand up and down his arm. I shuddered in disgust as I saw Edward quickly nod his head and smile.

I kept my head down as they all walked away expect for Edward who yelled he would be out to play in a second.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I just had to say those things so they don't suspect anything. I really didn't mean it, Bella." Edward rambled, searching my eyes for forgiveness.

"It's fine, Edward." I mumbled. He smiled that smile that made me go weak in the knees before glancing around and putting a hand to my cheek.

"You're really something, Bella. You keep taking my sorry ass back each time. No matter how much I hurt you. I love you, Bella. I really do." Edward laughed, his emerald eyes sparkling. I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, wishing. If only he really meant those words....

"I love you too, Edward." I whispered as he stood up and walked away. I watched as he strutted away, taking a piece of my heart with him.

* * *

Minutes later, I stumbled out of the school, favoring my left leg, still sore from last night. Suddenly a cocky voice rang out, "Freak. Yeah, you. Bella. Come here.". I glanced over to see Mike, Tyler, and Edward playing basketball, Mike holding the ball and gesturing me over. I warily walked over till I was a few feet away.

"I hear you play basketball. How bout you play us and we see who's better?", Tyler asked. I had a suspicious feeling in my stomach but I nodded my head. I reached down and tugged my laces tighter and rolled my sleeves to my elbow.

"Wow, what happened there?" Mike asked gawking at the now exposed bruises on my forearms.

"Nothing!" I squeaked, hastily pulling my sleeves down. They looked at me with curious expressions, but shook their heads and tossed me the ball. I caught it and spun it around in my hands a few times before looking up at the guys.

"Mike, your on Bella's team. Tyler, your on my team." Edward demanded. Mike looked at him, disbelievingly, before unwillingly making his way to my side. The guys threw wicked smiles at each other before starting the game. I dribbled down the court, dodging past Tyler and shooting at the free throw line. _Swish!_The ball sailed through the net. The guys stared at me with unbelieving faces, while my cheeks burned red.

The ball was passed around a bit and my team was in the lead, with Edward's team a couple points behind. Suddenly something rammed into my side as I lunged forward to get the ball. I fell with an audible crack as the guys all laughed, Tyler laughing hardest. I picked myself up and grabbed the ball, going forward to make a shot, when suddenly I was on my back, my right shoulder aching. I looked up to see Edward standing there, holding a hand out. I grabbed it and was going up when he bent down and whispered in my ear, "What the hell do you think you're doing, Bella? You're supposed to let me win! You're making me look bad!". I just stared at him as I attempted to pull myself up. Then, Edward's hand was gone and I was sprawled against the ground, my back aching as I landed on my bruise.

I peered up through my hair to see Edward and the guys laughing, walking away, my board clutched in Edward's hand. By the time I was up and running after them, Edward's car was pulling out, laughter heard from the inside. The rain had picked up and now I had no ride, no board, was 30 minutes away from home, and was soaked.

I did the only reasonable thing I could do right now. I started walking.

* * *

30 minutes later, and resembling a wet rat, I came to my house. Shivering, I climbed the porch, tripping on an object and landing on my face.

"Ow!" I mumbled, rubbing my head as I bent down and grabbed the object. Looking down I saw it was....my board with a note stuck on the front. Written in his perfect cursive writing was the single word "Sorry.".

I yanked the note off the board, crumbling it in my hand. I threw the note into the rain as I watched it slowly rip apart. Kinda like my heart.

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_Voila! Thanks for reading. _

_Ange:Give me a R! _

_Random Readers screech: __R! _

_Ange: Give me a E!_

_Random Readers: E!_

_Ange: Give me a V!_

_Random Readers: V!_

_Ange: Give me a I!_

_Random Readers: I!_

_Ange: Give me another E!_

_Random Readers: E!_

_Ange: Give me a W!_

_Random Readers: W!_

_Ange: What's that spell?_

_Random Readers: REVIEW!!!!!!_

_Ange: And you better do it if I went through this much trouble! So click the little lonely green button and review._


	3. Outside Looking In

_Hey Everyone! Thank you all my lovely reviewers and for those reading my story! Bella-16 Edward-16_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.....(Sobbing is heard in back round)_

**Song: Outside Looking In- Jordan Pruitt**_

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Ch. 3 Outside Looking In

Bella POV (It's a Saturday people!)

I smiled as I skipped around my room, tidying things up and humming. What ,you may be thinking, the hell is she smiling about? Well, it's the day of my birthday.....and the day of my Julliard audition. Tonight, I'm heading out to Seattle for my audition on the diner money I've saved up, but before that I'm heading to Edward's.

I found Charlie passed out on the couch and felt anything but surprised. He hasn't celebrated one of my birthdays since what happened to Mom...I crept by, flipping up my hood, and grabbing my board. I held my breath as I opened the door and a loud _creak! _rang out. Charlie grumbled and threw a hand over his eyes as I sighed.

I sped by houses, people, cars, trees....until I came to Edward's. As I opened the door, I heard muffled yelling coming from inside. I peeked from behind the door to see Edward screaming into his phone "What? You can't break up with me! That doesn't happen! Whatever, Lauren, your loss." he screamed, as he snapped the phone shut. As I walked, inside his angry face lit up and smiled.

"Hey, Bella. Happy Birthday!" Edward whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. I laughed and choked out "Edward...Can't....Breath.".

He blushed as he set me down, his eyes sparkling...wait I made the Edward Cullen _blush_? "Bella...I was wondering.....Since it was your birthday and all....doyouwanttodosomethingtoday?" Edward rambled, his eyes cast down looking like a little boy asking his sweetheart to the school dance.

"Like...Like a date?", I whispered, my cheeks burning bright red.

"If that's what you want it to be." He smiled, his eyes lighting up, "So...is that a yes?".

"Yeah, I guess it is." I blushed even harder as I saw his face blush and shine happily.

"So I'll pick you up at 3 since you have to go do something tonight in Seattle....Which I was wondering if I could go to? And then you can come over to my place later...." He babbled, looking so cute and excited.

"Yes. Yes to all of them!" I smiled, while on the inside my inner girl was squealing. Edward laughed and hugged me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I blushed a color so red it's not known to man.

"I gotta go. But I'll see you at three?", He smiled, looking so happy and alive. I nodded as he stroked my cheek one last time before picking up his leather jacket and strutting out the front door.

"Oh....My.....God." I sighed as I fell back on his couch. I can't believe that just happened. It's almost to good to be true.....

* * *

30 minutes before three....

I ran around my room, flinging clothes around as I looked for the right outfit. Charlie left hours ago for the morning shift so I didn't have to worry about him coming and getting pissed off at me for squealing like a little girl every time I looked at the clock.

I was blaring music from my iPod that Edward gave me to Christmas years ago, as I crouched down rummaging through my loose board looking for the necklace I haven't worn since Mom died. My hands felt the cool metal as I drew it out. A delicate silver chain held on a to a beautiful locket. The locket was old dark silver in the shape of a heart with gold lines weaving in and out of the sides with a small sapphire stone in the middle. Written on the back was "il mio bello Angelo". Mom told me she was an Italian descendant and that it means "My beautiful angel."

I slipped the necklace around my neck and held onto the locket for just a second before racing down into the laundry room. I took out my bluest jeans with the least holes and rips and a long sleeve dark blue shirt. I moved back upstairs running into the bathroom, going through drawers. I found an old pair of silver earrings one of Edward's old girlfriends left at his house, that he gave to me, that I dunked into some rubbing alcohol and left to sit. I found a brush and tried to brush my hair. Key word: tried.

After ripping some of my hair out and wrestling it into a high ponytail, I took out the earrings and slipped them in. I glanced down at the clock and saw I had 5 minutes left. I got out some cover up and covered all my bruises and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited more.

Until two hours had passed and it was time for me to go to Seattle. I called Edward one more time before grabbing a sweatshirt and heading to the bus station.

* * *

I arrived at Seattle an hour later after sitting next to a crying baby and her teenage mother texting on the phone. I sighed rubbing my temples as I tried to get rid of my killer headache.

After wandering around the streets and finally getting directions, I arrived at Seattle's School Of The Arts. I walked inside, shocked into silence. There was absolutely...no way...that I was getting into Julliard. I looked at the group of beautiful squealing teenager girls,the prodigy looking children, and the rest of the professional, beautiful people.

I left my hoodie on and lifted the hood up and pulled my ponytail out, letting my hair fall in front of my face. I went and sat in one of the seats in the back as they called out the people one by one. I twiddled with my fingers till I felt someone tap me one the shoulder.

I looked up into the weathered, kind face of a woman holding a clipboard. She smiled at me and asked "Are you Isabella?".

"Bella." I automatically whispered, then blushed letting my hair create a barrier between us. She smiled and wrote something down on her clipboard and brought me into a stage room where the three judges sat, with a crowd of people behind them. I kept my head down and stumbled onto the stage and on the seat before the microphone.I looked at the judges through my eyelashes and watched as they examined me too.

One woman sat at the end, her brown hair slicked back into a neat bun and her posture perfect. She smoothed down her suit as she tapped a pencil against her paper, her young, unwrinkled face impatient as cold green eyes stared at me. The woman I saw earlier sat in the middle, smiling at blue eyes twinkling. Then at the end sat a young man, maybe twenty, his bright green eyes following my every move , running his hand through his short brown hair, smiling smugly. He suddenly leaned forward and said into the mike "We have your guitar here and your music. Are you ready to start?".

I nodded my head and reached behind me to pull out the classic guitar my mother saved for me for my sixteenth birthday, stroking my fingers down it's glossy surface. She had signed me up for lessons when I was younger and I fell in love. After she passed away and Charlie cut me off, I started taking lessons at the community lessons and babysitting and working at the diner to pay for them. I saved the guitar from Charlie hiding it under my bed under a sheet when he came and destroyed everything of Mom's. I could only grab a couple of things and I made sure to grab this.

As I nestled the guitar into my lap, I nodded to the backstage workers to turn on my mic. I scanned the anxious and excited faces of the crowd, searching for the one face I couldn't find. I felt my heart rip as I started strumming and I sang softly into the mike-

_(Outside Looking In- Jordan Pruitt)_

_You don't know my name_

_  
You don't know anything about me_

_I try to play nice_

_I want to be in your game_

_The things that you say_

_You may think I never hear about them_

_But word travels fast_

_I'm telling you to your face_

_I'm standing here behind your back_

_You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like to be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend_

_On the outside looking in_

_If you could read my mind_

_You might see more of me than meets the eye_

_And you've been all wrong_

_Not who you think I am_

_You've never given me a chance_

_You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like to be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend_

_On the outside looking in_

_I'm tired of staying at home_

_I'm bored and all alone_

_I'm sick of wasting all my time_

_You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like to be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend_

_On the outside looking in_

_You don't know how it feels to be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like to be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend_

_On the outside looking in_

I kept my face down and my hair covering the one visible bruise on the side of my face, that was barely visible through the cover-up. I looked up into the shocked faces of the judges and heard the middle woman gasp, putting her hand to the right side of her face....where my bruise was. I touched the side of my face and brought my hand to see the smudged make-up. I kept my hand there as people in the audience clapped and cheered.

At the end of the auditions, I felt someone grab my shoulder, I jumped back and let out a small, scared whimper. I looked up into the worried faces of the judges and saw all of their eyes glued to the side of my face. I let my hair fall, my lips quivering. I felt one of them gingerly put their hand on my chin, pulling my face into the line of vision into the worried, concerned 1st judge, her eyes no longer cold, just scared. I kept my eyes down as she slowly put her hand over my face, matching her slim fingers with the bruises of Charlie's fingers. She let out a little gasp and whispered "Oh my...".

"Hi. My name's Angela. What's your name?" she whispered, eyes searching mine.

"Bella." I said softly, keeping my face down.

"Well, Bella, you did a really great job today and me and the judges decided we would love to have you at Julliard." She beamed, her face shining but her eyes still concerned.

I blushed and mumbled out, "I don't have any money though."

"Oh.", Angela gasped. "Well, we can give you a scholarship...but the dorms you have to pay for. And they usually are a lot to pay for....". She trailed off.

"No! No, that would be great! I can find my own place. It's just....Thank you! Thank you so much! You don't know what this means to me." I blubbered, tears falling from my eyes.

She grabbed on to me and gave me a hug, slipping something into my hands. I looked down to see a 1st class ticket to New York leaving from the Port Angeles Airport at 9 in the morning and all the information that I need to get to Julliard and anything else.

I cried and thanked her over and over, while she rocked me back and forth. I looked down at the clock to see that it was already 6. I gave Angela a watery smile and extracted myself from her arms. We laughed a bit and she gave me her number to call as soon as I get to New York.

I waved good-bye to all the judges as I boarded a bus for Forks. As teh bus rumbled forward, I wondered what happened to Edward.....

* * *

I looked down at the clock to see it was 7 as I boarded my way as fast as I could to Edward's place. I called him two times and when he didn't pick up, I decided to head on over. I pulled my hood tighter over my head as it started to sprinkle, and pushed myself faster.

As I came to Edward's I ran to the door, freaking out. _What if he got hurt? What if he got in a car accident or Esme or Carlisle got hurt? What if..._ I snapped out of my internal freaking out as I heard moaning come from inside. _What the...._

As I opened the door I felt my heart rip apart. Sprawled across the couch were Edward and Lauren. Their jackets and shirts covered the floor. Edward had his belt loose and his jeans unbuttoned with the zipper open. Lauren was in a lacy bra and jeans, Edward's head in between her chest. She was scratching her fingers down his muscled back as he moaned. I cried out in surprise and pain, my board making a crash as it hit the ground. Edward's and Lauren's heads whipped up, his face surprised, sorry, and angry. Her face, smug and victorious.

Edward stood up as Lauren whimpered. He sent her a smouldering look, throwing his shirt and jacket on while dragging me out the door as he grabbed my board. She just sat there, smugly staring at me as I went.

The rain fell harder as Edward glared at me, his normal sparkling emerald eyes dark and cold. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Edward snarled, his full, plump lips curled back in anger.

"Edward, remember the date....Seattle...._my birthday_?" I cried, my eyes filling with tears.

"O, shit! I'm so sorry I forgot! Its just Lauren came by and...we started talking... and she started kissing me....." He trailed off.

"Edward, I'm sick of this! Choose! Me...or _her_." I screamed, seeing his eyes flash.

"You don't tell me what to do....", He mumbled, looking like he was thinking it over. I felt my heart clench when I saw he was really debating letting me, his best friend, go for Lauren, his slut.

"Why, Edward? You really have to think this over? I'm your _best friend_! You should know how to anwser this!" I wailed, tears pouring down my face.

He suddenly whipped towards me, his face cold, dark, and...nothing like my Edward. "Why do you think I would pick you? You're just a freak...A...A no one. You're nothing, Bella. Nothing expect a whore, a bitch, and a loser. You'll never be anything. You'll always be the freak, the outcast, the one everyone leaves behind and doesn't want. We used to be best friends and I held on to you for as long as I could....But I can't anymore! You're ruining everything for me! You're plain and unnoticable, while Lauren is beautiful and popular. So why would someone like _me_ pick someone like _you_?" He exploded, his fists clenched and body shaking. For one second, he reminded me of Charlie. I flinched back, sobbing harder. He turned on his heel and started to stalk back inside.

"Edward...Edward, _please! I Love You!_" I screamed, reaching for him as I fell to my knees. The rain fell harder....and he didn't even look back.

* * *

**(A/N I was going to stop....But I love you guys to much! ) :D**

I stumbled into my house, crying as I heard a crash come from the living room. I turned my afec up to see....Charlie.

He stumbled in, a beer bottle in hand and laughed at my tear-stained face. "What happened, Bitch? You're 'friends' come to their senses and drop your sorry-ass?" he slurred, as he slammed me down on the floor. I didn't anwser and my face remained the blank look it had before.

"HA! It did, didn't it? I SAID DIDN'T IT?", Charlie snarled. When my silence stayed, he slammed the beer bottle down on the floor, the glass bits flying into my skin. I whimpered, knowing I couldn't stop him and it just was only going to get worse. He slammed his steel-covered boot into my stomach, imphasizing each word with a kick "You're...A....Worth...less...Bitch....Who...No...One...Wants!".

He stumbled into the kitchen and I let out a sigh. But I gasped when I saw him come back with a kitchen knife clutched in his right hand. I struggled to pick myself up as I whimpered and sobbed, begging someone would hear me. He came over and straddled my waist and spread his legs on top of mine and laughed as I tried to hit him with my hands. He grabbed both in one hand and pulled them over my head. I thrashed as I struggled to get free. He chuckled and ripped off the top of my shirt. He gawked at my bra cover chest before shaking his head and whispering "No." I sobbed harder as he brought the knife right over my chest, right where my heart would be. He slowly brought it into my skin, and started moving it around. I screamed as I felt the cold metal ripping through my skin. Time passed until he finally stood up, and had a pleased look on his face. He stumbled away saying "Get out. And don't come back either."

I looked down and cried. Charlie had gone and drawn a broken heart on my skin. A heart with jagged cracks. Just like mine.

* * *

**3rd Person POV**

Bella stumbled up the steps, clutching a towel to her bleeding chest. She grabbed her backpack and started shoving in clothes. She grabbed her Ipod, her mother's watch, her photo album.... She flipped the pages open, running her fingers down Edward's face. After what he did to her...she still loved him. She grabbed some of her hoodies and jeans. She bent down and flipped the loose board open, grabbing her money, her mother's jewelry,old jacket,and her mother's tattered Wuthering Heights book.

She thought for a second and grabbed her journal, flipping it open. Bella grabbed a pen and scribbled something down on the first page. She pulled up with a satisified look on her tear-stained face. Before she left, she strayed in front of the long mirror.

The girl scowled at the reflection staring back at her. The knotted, plain brown hair and the pasty, pale skin. The callused hands and the skinny arms and legs. The chapped lips and brown eyes filled with a broken,dead look. The non-existent curves and every rib visible and jutting out. The scars and bruises covering her body, making it a black-and-blue mess.

_You're so worthless. Why would someone like Edward want a mess like you?, _a voice laughed in her mind. But she wished she could be what Edward wanted. But...she wasn't, not even close.

She glared at the girl before her and watched as the image mirrored her and brought it's fist back and swung it forward. Over and over. As the glass shattered around her, the girl felt her heart shatter more.

Minutes later, Bella drew herself up and wiped her eyes. After she grabbed her guitar and it's case slinging it over her shoulder, grabbing her board, and her bag she walked out into the night, her destination the Port Angeles Airport. She was alone, broken-hearted, and moving on.....

* * *

The next morning, a sorry, handsome young man stood in front of the very house the girl left just last night. He stood there, running his fingers through his bronze-hair as he thought over what he should say to get his best friend to take him back. Last night, he knew he fucked up. But he didn't know excatly how badly...

As he finally walked to the door, he bumped into a small wrapped box sitting on the top step. He set down the flowers he got Bella when he saw his name written on the front in her messy scrawl. He opened up and found....a journal. A blue velvet journal with gold letters saying Bella's name. He opened the first page to see written-

_Edward,_

_I know if you're reading this, I'm already gone. You messed up, you broke my heart, and you helped me move on, all on the same night. Last night, when I was in Seattle, I auditioned for Julliard.....and I got in. I left, Edward. And I'm not coming back._

_I bet you're reading this __too, when you came to apoligize with some crappy 5 dollar flowers. But Edward if I see you again and even if years have past, I still will never forgive you. I loved you Edward, I still do. But you know nothing about me. You don't know whats happened to me or what I've lived through. But this journal will tell you my life, my thoughts, everything._

_Bye Edward. I love you._

_Bella_

_I put my heart into it all_

_That I wanted with you_

_And you showed me_

_Time and time again_

_That I'm not worth the sacrifice...._

_You won't really miss me till_

_I'm Gone._

_Wow....That's a lot of words. Tell me what you think....and I'll give you another really long chapter! SO REVIEW!!!! Or I'll send a pissed off scary Lauren with her mindless followers after you!!!!!_

_Peace Out,_

_~-Ange-~_


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